Side Positions

  Am I the only one who is really tired of the terms 'side woman' and 'side man' or matey as Jamaicans tend to call it? From the good old days coming from the bible men where somewhat expected to have more than one woman and nothing was thought of it while women were expected to always be pure and virtuous. Fast forward to present times and men are still somewhat expected to have more than one woman while on the other hand to some extent women are still expected to be pure and virtuous. People no longer slaughter a lamb or give sacrifices on an altar to God so apparently things have changed from then till now. As hard as some of you women might find it to believe there are some men out there who can remain faithful to one woman. Want to know what I believe the problem is? Women have simply say down and accepted that this just how men are supposed to be, so much so that they are proud to be called a side chick or contented to be called the wife despite knowing that he has other women. Call me crazy but if women decided to get back some dignity and refuse to be with a man if he will not be faithful don't you believe he will probably sit down and keep his pants zipped up? 

   As a young woman growing up in these times I always hear that it is hard to find a good man or hard to find a good woman. Where then have all the good people migrated to? Good people are still very much around but believe it or not you can't expect to find a good person if you are living a careless lifestyle or have no level of self worth. Until people stop and realize that there is no good in these side positions will people start to take relationships more seriously. A woman will be with a man because he can provide her with things financially and have another man who can provide her with the love that she desires. The man who is giving all of his love to this woman then finds out that she isn't being faithful and leaves her. The woman ends up being stuck with the man who can only provide her with money but no live and finds out that she isn't happy. The man who can only provides her with money now reaches the point in his life where he is looking for a special woman to settle down with so he leaves her and finds someone who will love him for more than his money. She now is left alone and now proudly proclaims that all men are wicked and users. Now there is a man who has a good girl who is faithful to him but he is tired of being tied down to one woman and has a reputation to maintain. He then ventures out into the world and finds several girls to boost his ego. The good girl at home finds out about his cheating ways and decides to leave him. After a couple months he is left poor and empty because all the girls left him when he had nothing left to give them. He then decides to continue to sleep around and cheat on women because of the hurt that they made him feel. 

   Everybody out there is looking for something. Everybody feels like somebody should love them and remain true to them. However, many forget that when they receive this love they too should give love as well. The thing is people are entering into relationships for so many wring reasons. Either because they are getting old and everybody seems to be getting married around them, elevated status in society or simply because they are lonely. Any relationship entered into for the wrong reasons will never be able to stand tall. Before you decide to settle for a side position think about the lower value you are placing on yourself.