Loving a black man that doesn't love me

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His beautiful dark skin made rich from the earth, his physical strength supporting where I am physically weak, his beautiful smile and then the depth of his speech. In a world where the wrongs that he has done is spoken about more frequently than what is good about him. I see the beauty in black unions,I see the beauty in black souls connecting, I see beauty in being by his side. The issue is, he no longer sees beauty in me. We walk paths these days paved with the broken connections. Couples who once professed to be so deeply in love now pretend to not know each other. We walk paths where you can pour the purest of love into the vessel of a man/woman and they remain empty.

On one side, we have black men who believe that black women have lost their worth. They have lost the meaning of what it means to be a Queen. The black man believes that the black woman has wrapped herself in the labels that society has placed on her. The black woman is often viewed as loud, promiscuous, unprogressive and uneducated.It is bad enough that this is so widely accepted but the fact that black men have accepted this, is what is so troubling.

On the other side, we have black women who believe that black men have lost their worth. They have lost the meaning of what it means to be a King. The black woman believes that the black man has wrapped himself in the labels that society has placed on him.The black man is often viewed as promiscuous, unprogressive,uneducated, unsupportive and violent. It is bad enough that this is so widely accepted but the fact that black women have accepted this, is what is so troubling.

What we have here is the acceptance of the label of the insignificant one. This brings me back to the title of my blog. Let me share a story with you. I met a beautiful black man with the most beautiful smile. He was the poster boy for tall, dark and handsome. We got to know each other and over time his character started to appear as beautiful as his physical beauty. However, the troubling side of it was that he always seemed to want me to appear more Eurocentric. He didn't delight in my fro, in my discourses about my African culture. I loved this man for the side of him that I saw that he couldn't but there was no way he could truly love me without loving the black within me.I would never lighten my blackness to let a little love from him in. I would never stop finding love in my African culture so I could wake up to his smile every morning. I would never stop loving him but it became hard to show him the beauty in his blackness if he couldn't see it in a black woman. He had simply accepted that the black woman was inferior and therefore he would always see her as such. There is so much to love about the black man. However, what you must realize is that a black man will never see beauty in a black woman if he doesn't see the beauty in his own black skin. You can assist in a black man in finding his own self love but you can't make him accept it.You have to let him prepare himself to be loved by a woman who mirrors the source of his life.

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